Light (by Karl Tonna)
by Court Leve
This image was taken while flying in a helicopter from Juneau, Alaska, to Cordova, Alaska. The four-hour flight routes through some of the most desolate areas of Alaska, including what is known as the Lost Coast. We were flying at elevations up to 15,000 feet near the Fairweather Range when my pilot wanted to then follow the coastline. As we turned the corner, the beach below was filled with what seemed to be millions of seagulls. The noise from the helicopter spooked the birds and wave after wave of gulls took flight below us. It was somewhat mesmerizing.
Snow Arch, Turin, Italy
photo via rachel
There’s a few reasons why I find this to be frustrating, although I also relate to it’s message. Firstly, if anyone has been on the other side of “You really hurt me”. Usually this comes as a surprise to the person hearing about it. This matters for a couple of reasons. It causes a shock to the person finding out, they question themselves because you give no reasoning to why you are hurt or how it hurt, (if my normal actions hurt this person, perhaps… I can’t be around this person anymore? Perhaps we can’t be friends anymore, because I hurt them just by being me..)( I don’t understand how this hurt them???)
2. The statement “You hurt me” is accusatory, not saying that it’s not true, but it’s similar in trying to tell an angry person to “calm down” in that just because it’s true doesn’t make it the right method of action to take. Being an accusatory statement complicates the situation further precisely because it comes as a shock to the person finding out, they are put into a corner and that is why people in this situation tend to be flabbergasted and say “but I didn’t mean to…” They are trying to defend themselves because they are being accused by you, despite your intentions. If the person had instead said “By doing action A, you hurt me, I wish you did B instead or something else…” another thing to say is “It hurt my feelings when you did A, Because * insert reason* it felt like..*something*…I know you didn’t mean to, but I wish for you to care about my feelings too”. By saying it in something like that of a way, it also shows understanding and explanation. If you want understanding, you have to give understanding back.
>Years of experience being in foster care and having foster parents that don’t understand shit about how to not hurt fragile youth.
I read once that during a confrontation it’s very counterproductive to start sentences with “you”. Rather, it’s suggested you instead begin your statements with “I felt like you x”. When people feel like they’re being accused of something they’re not going to act as receptive to what you’re trying to tell them, regardless of whether or not you’re in the right and they were wrong. It’s weird how simple semantics can change how emotions work but it’s pretty true.
The Nine Eyes of Google Street View
please don’t touch my thigh my dick will rise like apollo 13
but apollo 13 exploded
that’s the goal